'Twas the night before Christmas, when through the city Sharona drove 
I checked once, I checked twice; I know I shut off the stove;
The traffic was bad, I told her to take care,
She shot me a look that told me to beware;

The public were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of traffic violations danced in my head;
And Sharona in her mini skirt, and I in my coat,
Had just settled into an argument, I know she loves to gloat,

When I got to my apartment, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the car seat to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Sharona followed me and told me I was rash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to our wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
Sharona knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More than a little skeptic, I wondered how they came,
Sharona cheered, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!
On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

As I looked at her as though she'd gone mad,
We were met with an obstacle, it was really pretty sad,
As from the house-top and down the chimney though snug,
A chubby little man in the middle of my rug.

I panicked, and nearly hit the roof
The prancing and pawing, he acted like a spoof.
As I drew in my breath, and was turning around,
Down the chimney came the rest of his junk with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
It was about this time I was about to have an attack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
I couldn't care less,  I wished for Dave Barry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
Why he was looking at me that way, I didn't want to know;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He was full of disease and no doubt would protest,
But, I told him put it out or I'd put him under arrest.

Sharona sighed and told me to calm myself,
She then laughed when she saw him, in spite of herself;
He winked at her and with a kiss of her hand,
Soon gave her his number despite his wedding band;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; I thought what a jerk,
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
I turned my head, as he continued the pose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
I yelled out to him, as he drove out of sight,
"YOU OWE ME $45 FOR THE MESS YOU MADE TONIGHT!" 

Hee hee...hope you liked it!!  I was in tears from laughing so hard tonight
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU MONKIES and A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

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