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The Elven-Faerie Peace Accord, was a failure from the get go. Those yappy little bastards couldn't even agree on a neutral meeting place. Leaving them to bicker over whether the ink blotter or the filing cabinet was a better place for the conference, I decided to go look for a new VIDEO GAME to piss away a few minutes while they tried to come to a decision. Knowing I specifically wanted a video game I could download for my PC, I tapped the words CONDOM GUN into the search engine, and was immediately rewarded by a nice little shoot-em-up put out by the Swiss Department of Public Health. The replacement negotiators decide to take a calmer, quieter approach to the discussions, giving me the peace and quiet I need to catch up on some reading. Grabbing a scientific journal, I set my MP3 player to "Johnny Cash" and mellow out with a reefer and the latest innovations of the Learned Men and Women (gotta be PC) of Science. Aside from the usual list of new and interesting instruments of mass destruction being cooked up for the military, I am shocked to find that a long held truism of science has been turned on its head. In 1934, the entomologist Antoine Magnan and engineer Andre Saint-Lague published a book on the subject of insect biomechanics, and proved empirically that BEES CAN'T FLY. Then along come a bunch of upstarts, led by Michael Dickinson, MD, who, after 15 years of research and millions of dollars in grant money, prove that bees can in fact fly. Well, fruit flies can, anyway. Or at least they can hover. He's working on the flying part of the equation.  Read article at Scientific American. The Elven, Faerie Summit taking place on my ink blotter has, by this time, completely broken down. I make a quick grab for my fly-swatter, but the little buggers are getting wise to me and scatter for the cover of various valuable, not to mention fragile, bric-a-brac dispersed across my desk. Setting aside the issue, for the moment, I head for the comfort of The Oasis and console myslef with a nice piece of poetry and a short story. The only thing wrong with The Oasis is that is isn't updated as of as I'd like, but hey! The world is an imperfect place, and I don't have the time now anyway, because the Peace Talks have completely broken down, and the elves and the faeries are going at it with light ordnance, mortarting each other and carving craters in my pile of memos. They're leaving me with little choice, the little bastards. As much as I hate to say it, with the Tyranny of the Orcs, there may have been brutality, torture, and senseless executions, but at least there was some semblance of order. The chaos and disorder of the current regime is just too much for me to handle. I have to go now and unleash a greater evil upon my desk. Give the Little Folk something to unite against. Sometimes, you have to unleash a little chaos to restore the order of things. I'll be back. You have been warned. |
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