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Tunneling Into My Mind
Chapter 1
June 9, 2001

As I was sitting here, stoned on painkillers, watching the elves and faeries duke it out for supremacy of my inbox, I decided I should go to SUPERBAD to relieve myself of the haunting images of the orc massacre that resulted in the power vacuum causing the current strife between the elves and faeiries. I still don't understand SUPERBAD, but that didn't stop me from stealing this nifty GIF from there.




But that site can only entertain you for so long, no matter how drug addled you may be. Sooner or later the real world intrudes, and you have to deal with the fact that the elves are crushing the faeries. A quick flick of the finger wipes out a squad of elves, sending them flying across the office to splatter against the wall. Some semblance of balance is restored to my inbox and I breathe a sigh of relief.

With the war between the elves and faeries subsiding to a low ebb, I allow myself a return to the surreality of the web. Entering random words into the search engine is always the best way to find what you want. When you enter phrases that seem relevant to what you're looking for, all you end up getting is porn.

Random word entry into the search engine works especially well if you're not sure what you're looking for. But you always know when you find it. I spend a brief few, horrid moments at the web site of an East Indian Rap Superstar. He's "Blessed By The Gods," his website even says so. It doesn't take me long to realize this particular type of music doesn't travel well.


Daler Mehndi

In comparison to the horror of that particular site, the blood splattering carnage of the war between the elves and faeries is a relief. But I'm starting to worry about the mess its making of all my important memos.

I finally come to rest at a pleasant if odd little lit ezine that purports to be a showcase of writers from all over the world. Sounds a little high falutin, but The Oasis has a few good stories, and some not bad poetry. Probably more than some not bad poetry, but I can't read Malaysian. Oh well.

The bloody struggle on my desk seems to be reaching a climax, so I bookmark The Oasis for later, squish a few elves and faeries under my thumb, and force their leaders to the bargaining table.

I have to go now and attend to brokering a deal between the elves and faeries. But I shall return. You have been warned.


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