On
October 2, 2001 at 8:13 pm my Husband Chris Passed away.
He
went in for Foot Surgery, came home and passed away 2 hours later.
Chris
was in perfect health and this case is still under investigation.
My
husband Chris turned 30 years old on September 11, 2001
We
celebrated our 2nd anniversary on September 25, 2001.
He
was the first man to ever love me the way I always wanted to be loved.
He
took me and my daughter into his heart, he loved me as I was.
Chris
was my savior in everyway.
Knowing
how hard my life had been he calmed my heart and mind.
He
understood and took care of me, never being demanding.
He
made me believe I could be loved and showed me that I was precious.
He
didn't ask for anything in return not even my love.
He
was satisfied with just loving me.
We
didn't just fall in love one day.
Chris
saw me and thought that I was worth investing in.
He
said that my ways were something he wanted in a women.
I
saw him and thought that I was better off being with someone that
treated
me well. Than with someone I loved and treated me like dirt.
Through
error and many disagreements we worked on our relationship.
I
agreed to marry him and from there it was a love story.
With
time we began to love each other in ways we never imagined.
We
grew closer with every passing day and our bond became unbreakable.
Finally
we were able to say I love you to each other with out hesitation.
With
out fear. I trusted him with all of me in everyway.
Chris
relished our embraces and our soft hours together laying around.
Chris
would look at TV. programs about divorce and separation and then he
would look at me and say. " No one wants to stay together
anymore!"
"The
grass may look greener on the other side of the fence, but once you
get there you realize that the first grass was the greenest of them
all."
I
would then look at him with a mischievous grin and say.
"SOOOO
are you saying you like my grass?"
Chris
would look down and then look up at me with a smile and say.
"Yeah
I like you grass, I don't need any one else."
We
didn't need anyone else. We were everything to each other.
He
was my best friend and I was his.
He
didn't smoke or drink just the occasional beer once a week.
He
never hung out in the street or with other people.
Chris
just went to work and came home.
All
he wanted was to be with me and sit.
Just
when everything was so good Chris was snatched away from me.
And
again I am alone and frightened in this world.
I
never want to love again because how could there ever be
a
man like my Christopher.

Christopher
Lloyd Gillings was born in the Bronx New York. He attended the
University of Buffalo in New York. He was employed at Jacobi Hospital
in the Bronx as a Patient Care Associate for almost 5 years.
Christopher’s loves
in life were music ( Rap, R&B, Heavy Metal & many other types)
, art ( drawing, sketching) and computers. With a computer he
could take his loves and wrap them together. He experimented with
Mixing music, Making graphics, Flash and many more programs.
Chris was always trying to get the latest program. He had plans
for making a website about his love of music. When Christopher wanted
to relax he would play video games, watch music videos, play with our
dogs and lay around with me.
He also liked the
smell of eucalyptus plants.
Christopher was
content with the simple things in life. A good meal and movie was all
he needed. He was very dedicated and loved family life. Being soft
spoken and caring were his traits. Christopher could win anyone's
heart with his smile and deep brown eyes.
When Christopher
loved someone he showed it in all his actions. He always went out of
his way to make things a bit easier for others. He enjoyed people and
talking to them. It always seemed that he would run into someone, that
he had met or talked to at one time. They always remember him.
Christopher loved the
winter months with it’s coolness. He would even turn on the fan in
the winter. Always walking around with his coat wide open proclaiming
that he wasn't cold. He also loved living here in the Bronx. He
would take pictures with his digital camera of all the things around
him.
Everyone who knew
Christopher loved him for his kind and gentle disposition. He was
known for his willingness to give a helping hand to all who needed it.
At Christopher's viewing so many people came that we needed 3 books
to collect all the signatures. Administrators, Doctors,
Co-workers, Family, Friends, Neighbors, some people didn't know that
they knew him until they saw his picture and realized the he was the
same man who took care of them or their loved ones at some time or he
was the young boy they remembered from years ago. So many
people showed up that it was quite amazing to see. Christopher
will be sorely missed for he was truly a great man.

You are My Necessity
Written by: Raquel Hernandez
Gillings
Dedicated to my Beloved
Husband Chris. Forever you
will remain in my heart!
~~~~
For the longest time, I wished
for love divine.
And only devastation came my
way.
Then one day, I saw your face.
And I could see, My love you
would be
Now I know, I won't let go.
Because
As necessary as the breeze,
As overwhelming as the seas.
You are what I need.
As tall as the tallest tree,
As beautiful as the leaves, on
the reddest Rose,
My heart knows.
For as far as I can see,
And as long as I believe.
The only thing you can be.
Is my necessity.
The
above poem was written for my husband for our wedding.
It
is a copy written piece of work.
You
are not allowed to use it in any way or fashion.
~*~
There
is a certain Monologue in the Play Romeo and Juliet
In
Capulet's orchard
Juliet
is talking about her Romeo
Give
me my Romeo and when he shall die,
Take
him and cut him out in little stars,
And
he will make the face of heaven so fine,
That
all the world will be in love with night.
These
words I can almost envision.
Chris
among the stars shining ever so brightly.

Song
Artist:
Monica ~ Angel of Mine
From
the "Monica the Boy is mine" CD
When
I first saw you I already knew
There
was something inside of you
Something
I thought that I would never find
Angel
of Mine
I
look at you looking at me
Now
I know why they say the best things are free
Gonna
love you boy you are so fine
Angel
of Mine
How
you changed my world you'll never know
I'm
here for now, you helped me grow
(Chorus)
You
came into my life
Sent
from above
When
I lost the hope
You
showed me love
I'm
checkin for you Boy
your
right on time
Angel
of Mine
Nothing
means more to me then what we share
No
one in this world can ever compare
Last
night the way you moved is still on my mind
Angel
of Mine
What
you mean to me you'll never know
Deep
inside I need to show
(Chorus)
You
came into my life
Sent
from above
When
I lost the hope
You
showed me love
I'm
checkin for you Boy
your
right on time
Angel
of Mine
I
never knew I could feel each moment
As
if they were new
Every
breath that I take
The
love that we make I only share it with you
You,
You, You, You
When
I first saw you I already knew
There
was something inside of you
Something
I thought that I would never find
Angel
of Mine
(Chorus)
You
came into my life
Sent
from above
When
I lost the hope
You
showed me love
I'm
checkin for you Boy
your
right on time
Angel
of Mine
How
you changed my world you'll never know
I'm
here for now you helped me grow
I
look at you looking at me
Now
I know why they say the best things are free
Checkin'
for you boy your right on time
Angel
of Mine

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